Ha...ha...ha...ha...!!!

PHRASES OF WISDOM

*If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

*Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

*Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

*If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

*My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

*Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

*It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

*For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

*If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

*Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

*A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

*Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

*Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

*No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

*A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

*Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

*Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

*Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

*There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

*Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

*By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

*Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

*Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

*Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.