Laws Of The Natural Universe

Laws Of The Natural Universe

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.


LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


LAW OF PROBABILITY: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


LAW OF THE TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


VARIATION LAW: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works every time!)


BATH THEOREM: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.


LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


THEATRE RULE: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


MURPHY'S LAW OF LOCKERS: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


LAW OF DIRTY RUGS/CARPETS: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


LAW OF LOCATION: No matter where you go, there you are.


LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


BROWN'S LAW: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


OLIVER'S LAW: A closed mouth gathers no feet.


WILSON'S LAW: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


LAW OF REALITY: Murphy was an optimist.